As I was sitting in the quiet during nap time, text messaging Bill who is at the San Francisco airport, and talking away to you, my blog reading friends, I stopped a minute to go upstairs and see what Kelli was doing. She's here to do some administrative stuff for Bill before he gets back in town, but this is where I found her and I had to take this picture. She is a wife and a mommy (and a business owner and partner of Bryan, her hubby) but doesn't she look just like a daughter here? And look at sweet Miss Bug lying beside her, blissfully sleeping. More people in my bed today, people I love. Tonight Bill will be there again. Yahoo!
Love is a fruit in season at all times. ~ Mother Teresa
I am asking myself about my capacity to love. I remember when I went to kindergarten. I hated it. I missed my mother so much it hurt. I longed for her. I worried about her. When I was a senior in high school, I had fewer classes, so I'd often leave school at lunch time, walk over to my dad's office where my mom worked and we'd go to a little cafe for clam chowder. I have never had clam chowder that tasted so delicious in the company of someone like my mother. When Bill and I were separated by distance after my first year of college, I missed him so much I could hardly stand it. I spent a lot of the money I made that summer flying across the state to see him. My memories of that time are so precious and uncluttered. After our wedding, we came back to my home to pack up our stuff and I cried and cried saying goodbye to my dad. It dawned on me that I was a grown up and leaving my mom and dad's care to depend on Bill (and myself) and even though I couldn't wait to be a wife, I was very aware of how much I'd miss my home and my parents. I love them so much and thoroughly enjoy their company. When we became parents ourselves I remember lying in bed between feedings and telling Bill that I loved little Brad so much it almost hurt. When I had Kelli, I appreciated her little content personality right away and nursed her with complete unselfish devotion that astounded me. Me? I didn't feel like such a grown up, self sacrificing woman, but I knew I loved my babies in spite of myself. When Jeff came along, he was so dear and having a new baby felt like such a sweet gift. He was so agreeable (and still is) and when I was huge and expecting Jenny a year and a half later, I'd lie with him on his sweet little bed at night and think about how much I loved his frisky ways and his ability to rest. I remember the sweet feeling of closeness and I'm sure the bed springs sagged! With a fourth child, life got crazy but I remember distinct moments, looking at round little Jenny in her pink LUVS diaper and tiny undershirt, and feeling a surge of spiritual love quite beyond myself. I've loved so many other people, too. Neighbors, my two sisters and my two brothers, sweet and deep women friends, hundreds of teenagers that have come and gone in our lives, our grandchildren. I was trying to sleep last night while CB moved around beside me and I thought, "Nothing she could do could make me not love her. I love her, I love this, and I love the feeling of love!" I'm also astounded that I love eighth graders. A lot of people don't love them. They really aren't at their finest hour of life, but even without really trying, I love them. I know love isn't just a feeling, it's an act and I know that we don't really understand it. Mankind didn't invent love, people didn't come up with it. Our Creator created it for us. Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself." That sounds active so I'm going to try to think of some new ways to show love. Would you help me? What are some very real and practical ways to let others know we love them? I can't wait to hear what you come up with.