Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Spotty Little Heart

When I was fourteen, I flew across the state to go to camp for a weekend. My older sister invited me to Young Life camp at Camp Easter Seal. I was nervous because having lived in the same little town all my life, I was unsure of my friend making skills and had never been "the new kid" before. I didn't do a lot of talking that weekend. What moved me was the music. I remember thinking, "I hope I remember these songs. Please, let me remember these songs when I get home." I did. I used to dry my long, tangled hair over the heat vent. My younger sister and I would crank up the heat and lie on the tile, whipping through our hair with a brush until it was dry. As I was drying my hair with dusty air, I'd sing to myself, "Be sure of this. Be VERY sure of this, I'm with you always. Even 'til the end of the world." It soothed me. I needed to hear Jesus' voice telling me this very sure truth. I'm here. I'm with you. Forever.

I sought Him. I read my Living Bible, underlined interesting words, looked up verses using a devotional guide, and wrote in my spiral notebook/journal. Now over thirty-five years later, I'm still singing some of those songs to myself. I'm still trying to know Him. I try to do what He'd like for me to do and I think He is asking me to humble myself. So, that's what Lent is going to look like for me. I'm joining in A Pause in Lent and I'll post about it Sunday and give you the link. This morning I read about humility and miraculously I felt quieted today, nondescript and calm.

My tulips are so rich, so other worldly. The contrast between their glory and my tired, droopy self comforts me.

So, here is my spotty little heart, given to the God of the Universe. Still.


Deborah said...

I just love the little peeks at your journals. I keep thinking that I need to start journaling my prayers that way.I'm looking forward to reading Sunday's post!

Blessings to you!

Stephanie ~ Angelic Accents said...

Such an inspiring post ~ and such sweet memories of the past and all the things that have shaped you into what the Lord wants you to be today! Thanks for sharing.

Big TX Hugs,
Angelic Accents

Mrs Yappy Dog said...

Lots of lovely thoughts here, glad you are joining Pause In Lent - I hoped you would.

Gigi said...

I know He treasures your spotty little heart (which is actually a lovely, unblemished, BIG heart)!
Blessings Pom,

Kari of Writing Up A Storm said...

I'm afraid your spotty little heart is as bright and as glorious as those tulips, you simply will not be able to hide your true colors from God! But, more seriously, I love what you said about feeling quieted and "nondescript and calm" after reading about humility. I felt calm reading your words myself, but can't quite say why. Does it have something to do with accepting ourselves as we are, I wonder. Well, I think your faith is something very beautiful to behold. xo Kari

Charlotte, Cottontails said...

What a lovely post - happy in such a calm way. Contented. It's the seeking that's important I think... I don't have to 'find' God, just 'seek' and He will come to me?
And you asked about bunny treats - well Humphers loves toast and biscuits and - seriously naughty this - chocolate (but ssshhhh don't tell - it's only a very rare very tiny treat! He goes beserk when I'm eating it though!)
Love Charlotte

Bradley Maston said...

Just lovely. I agree, tulips are other worldly! I will never forget you singing "You are my hiding place" to me while we played on your bed and waited for Daddy to come home. Now I sing it with my kids. Beautiful!

Jessica said...

Beautiful beautiful beautiful post. You inspire me-- as ALWAYS!
Some of my earliest memories of falling in love with The Lord happened at camp too. Our God is an Awesome God was my camp song. Oh Pom, when we sang that song The Holy Spirit was so real and strong that I could never doubt the power of the Lord again. I'm so grateful that you've shared this with us. It helps me to remember too!

My mom and I always say that you are a kindred spirit. It is true. You are!

P.s. Love the tulips.

Gumbo Lily said...

Oh the days before blow dryers.....and the memories that go with drying hair over the furnace vent. I enjoyed this post very much.

blessed Lent,