Imaginary Audience

My prayers this morning, in the journal/sketchbook

What I've been thinking about the last few days . . .
I'm trying something I've never tried before. I think I told you that I was reading a book about the Holy Spirit. It's written very simply which makes the premise even more of a paradox. The Spirit of God is mysterious, vast, and unseen and this book reads very lightly. I haven't read much of it, so I can't tell you more than this: I've decided to really chase my "imaginary audience" away with a vengeance. How? Instead of talking to my pretend audience when I'm driving in the car or staring out the window, I am going to lay it all out there with the Lord. I think I have cheated HIM out of a lot of relationship with me, because I'd rather have verbal rehearsals with listeners that do not exist than speak intimately with HIM. Have you ever heard of the idea "imaginary audience"? I think about this a lot when I read friends' updates on facebook. I often wonder who they are aiming their quips at and specifically WHO they think might be impressed with their doings. Let me explain a bit more. If my audience is the Creator of the Universe, I may not have QUITE so much to say. If my audience is composed of people who really love me for me even though I am flaky and inconsistent, then I will share different things, because I don't need to impress them - they already love me. My imaginary audience consists of critics, people who don't love me yet, people that I think really should start appreciating me and realizing my amazing-ness . . . you get the point. So as much as I entertain myself when I talk to the imaginary audience, trying to convince this nonexistent group that I am REALLY cool and VERY unique, I am trying to remember to STOP and say the same thing to Jesus. I'm telling HIM more than before, and I must admit I feel a little shy about some of the dumb stuff I worry about and the trivial issues I notice and mention to HIM now, but I'm seeing more of my silly ways and I'm FEELING HIS favor and HIS tenderness toward me. So, I hope HE is okay with me sharing this with you. What do you think?

Blog Love

I am feeling the blog love because SuKnitWitty sent me a goody in the mail! Look at how dear she is! I love the spool-y bell pull she made for me. Jeff hung it on the lamp. It's so cute! Sue knows I love Raggedy Ann and now I have another book! Woo hoo! Also, she sent me a magnet (a tiny one!) from the great state of Texas, so I put it on my new refrigerator! Yahoo! She made me some adorable Pom Pom charms and sent me cute buttons that I will love sewing on random things. She wanted to encourage me concerning school and wish me an early happy birthday. What a queen she is, that SuKnitWitty! I adore my blog friends. You are all unbelievably supportive and giving. I cherish your words and your attention. When I tell non-bloggers about the world of blogs, they just don't get it. They don't know what they are missing!

Because it's the weekend! (ahhhhh!) I took a leisurely stroll around the flower beds this morning. Things are looking tangled and I love that!

Have you ever had a sunflower wink at you? Now you have!

The sweet peas are having a long run. A few pin wheel petunias have joined them.

Last night I watched Slumdog Millionaire. Wow. I know that some children really do live like that in India. When I was in Cambodia last summer and we stopped to get gas in the motorcycle, a little girl came up to me begging. I gave her the USA dollar I had and she looked at it funny, of course. I felt bad for a long time after that, wishing I'd had a handful of Cambodian money to give her. I realized that survival is an amazing and vast idea. All the books we assigned the kids for summer reading have to do with survival - children trying to survive. I think instead of just giving the essay test, we need to talk about how survival relates to leadership. Leadership is a consideration when our needs are met. We can't assume our students needs are met and saying our theme for the year is leadership may be a bit presumptuous. I have to do some more thinking on this. What do you think? How do we teach kids compassion and what is a leader anyway?